


No Light, No Light

by masterassassin, none_the_wiser



Series: Trip Switch [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Apocalypse, Bullshit Science, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:00:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23631235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterassassin/pseuds/masterassassin, https://archiveofourown.org/users/none_the_wiser/pseuds/none_the_wiser
Summary: Leonard imagines it all was just a dream. The gray morning and Jim’s bright shirt... Maybe he even dreamed up the caddy and Jim, and everything that was before.
Relationships: Implied Past Relationships - Relationship, James T. Kirk/Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Series: Trip Switch [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523057
Comments: 22
Kudos: 31





	1. Exits

**Author's Note:**

> We did it! We finally managed to post the first chapter of Part 2 of Trip Switch!  
> We’re terribly sorry it took us so long, but life got in the way, and also procrastination.

_ Before the darkness swallows Leonard completely he sees Jim with the tranq gun in hand. He looks at him, tilting his head to one side like in Leonard’s recurring nightmare and his shirt is the only bright spot on the gray background of this morning.  _

Leonard imagines it all was just a dream. The gray morning and Jim’s bright shirt, and the tranq gun in his hand. The one they found in the glove compartment of the cannibals’ caddy. Maybe he even dreamed up the caddy and Jim, and everything that was before. Leonard suppresses his initial impulse to open his eyes and look around. What’s the difference anyway? It's obvious, he’s fucked. Besides that, he’s afraid to see the white ceiling with the crack in the middle.

Of course it was not a dream. Leonard mentally orders his body to relax, he doesn’t want to let them know he’s awake. It’s a trick he’s learned in the Shelter – as long as you pretend to be sleeping they don’t touch you. It's like you put reality on halt. 

Instead, he listens to his senses. The sound, the smell, his sense of direction. He is in the car and it’s moving and the road is smooth. It smells like dust and gasoline; he’s buckled up, his hands are tied and his neck is still feeling numb. His head is buzzing. This damned tranquilizer dart could very well have knocked out an elephant. 

He can hear two men talking. The voices come from the front, which means he is in the back seat. He carefully opens his eyes and immediately realizes that it was the worst idea ever. Who would have thought that daylight could be so painful. It’s like the worst hangover in history, only it’s even worse than that. 

“Where is Sulu?” Jim's voice asks from the shotgun, as Leonard assumes.

“He left.” The calm voice belongs to the guy with the ridiculous haircut and countless rules. Spock, he recalls Jim calling him that, and isn’t that a pretty stupid name. Jim referred to him as the group’s leader. Usually, he would also add a long string of colorful expletives to his name. The guy didn’t win Leonard’s sympathy at first sight either, with that expression frozen on his face and his impassive voice, but Leonard's opinion was pretty biased – after all he got sedated and kidnapped. For the second time in a month. For that, again, he’d have to thank Jim. Oh Jim.

Leonard would like to be mad at him but he just can’t bring himself to. Instead he chooses to be angry with himself, his own stupidity and gullibility.

“What’s that mean? Where did he go?” Jim’s voice has an accusatory edge to it.

“It means exactly what I said. He separated from the group.”

“So you managed to finally bitch him out of the team? Why am I not surprised.”

Leonard barely holds back a chuckle. In fact, Jim’s voice sounds kind of surprised and extremely peeved.

“He didn’t agree with some decisions made and that’s how he chose to express his protest.”

“With decisions like dumping me while I was asleep?”

“That’s not what happened, Jim. But yes, that decision.”

“I woke up. I was alone. You dumped while I was asleep. I guess that’s called logic.” Jim doesn’t quite manage to mask the hurt in his voice.

“No. I sent the others out to explore the road ahead and stayed with you while you were sleeping. I left you when I noticed you’re waking up. I would never leave you in danger. I thought you knew that,” Spock responds with calm insistence. 

“Yeah, thanks a lot, I’m touched. It doesn’t excuse the fact that you left me behind in some hellhole without a weapon and you didn’t even bother to leave a damn note.”

Spock answers after a long pause, his voice still sounds unsettlingly tranquil. “You stole a gun from Scotty. And I will be honest with you, I regretted this decision ever since. ”

“Glad to hear that,” Jim says dryly.

“It was an extremely emotional act that led to the loss of another member of the team.”

“Well, of course. Just when I thought that you care.”

None of all this resembles a happy reunion and Leonard feels a little sorry for Jim, but on the other hand, he needs to remind himself that Jim contributed to his abduction and is technically on the side of his enemies; although evidently they’re not on the best terms at the moment.

Still, they sit next to each other and argue, like an elderly married couple. Leonard knew Jim missed his friends; despite the fact that he would never show that, it was on the surface. 

Look at them – they call themselves a team, they have rules, and an eccentric leader. And even though they left Jim, he took their side in a heartbeat. Leonard feels a sting of envy. 

Leonard had a team once, too. He lost it. Nevertheless, he never had a chance to be part of an actual group of friends. Not at school, when he was just a chubby guy who was not accepted into any sports team. Not at college, where he was just a moody student, a nerd, obsessed with his studies, seemed way too odd for anyone to invite him to parties. Of course, he had  _ friends _ , but they were scarcely more than classmates.

After his mother’s death, his dad was his best friend. It’s almost like he was doomed to bear the seal of loneliness which he himself couldn’t see, no matter how much he stared at his gloomy face in a mirror. But those around him recognized it instantly and tried to stay away from him. It doesn’t matter now. If he’s to fall into self-loathing he’d better choose a more appropriate time. 

It would be much more productive now to think of an escape plan other than overthinking and getting all worked up about something he’s never had and never will have.

“Anyway, thanks for coming back for me,” Jim says and Leonard’s back to reality. 

“We didn’t come back for you, Jim. We were chasing Dr. McCoy, and you, by strange coincidence, turned out to be near.” Leonard wants to, once again, object that he is not a doctor and that he prefers to be untied and left alone, forever. “Thank you for helping us capture him. However, I still think that your recklessness is a threat to the team’s safety, and if it were my call, I would leave you there on that farm. But the guys voted to return you to the team. Fortunately for you, we still had free space in the car.”

“Damn, Spock, I missed your merciless rationalism so much. Thanks for the trust guys! I missed you, too. An excellent car, by the way.” In response, there’s only unenthusiastic grumbling from the other guys.

For a while the two in the front seats keep bickering, but Leonard has already lost interest in their discussion. He opens his eyes again to examine the situation. All this time he’s been sitting with his forehead pressed against the window and from the forced position his neck, shoulders and lower back hurt like hell. Actually, his entire body aches. A white cloud drawn by his breath flutters against the cool glass.

Daylight still hurts his eyes and he feels sick, but these are just insignificances of life compared to the fact that he is currently being escorted to the only place that is more terrible than a shopping center full of hungry infected people. Worse than the dead snowy plains and scorching icy winds of the North. Much worse than the cannibals’ damp basement.

Outside, green trees and abandoned farms flicker as they pass by, summer rain drizzles; they are still in Georgia, on what used to be I-85, or maybe it still is. Leonard turns his head slightly to inspect everything inside the car.

It’s an ordinary SUV, a Nissan, with three rows of threadbare gray seats, probably a Pathfinder. The interior is a bit shabby, but it’s a nice car. It’s big enough, alright for off-road driving and doesn’t eat fuel in gallons – the best option in the event of an apocalypse, a popular choice. Leonard can imagine this slogan on posters along the road. However, finding a car like that in working condition is becoming more and more difficult as time goes by. What a nightmare it will be when all the fuel supplies are finally exhausted.

Jim’s sitting shotgun, Leonard sees the bright sleeve of his shirt from behind the back of the seat. Spock is driving, the girl and Scotty are in the second row, he’s in the back. 

“You’re not sleeping.” A quiet voice comes from his right and Leonard flinches, effectively ruining his pretense of unconsciousness. “Don’t worry, we don’t bite.”

Surprised, Leonard opens his eyes completely and turns to have a look at his seatmate. It turns out to be a young man, almost a boy, with a round smiling face and curly mop of hair. He is clearly the youngest in the group.

“You’re not from around here,” Leonard mutters in surprise, as quietly as possible. The thick Eastern European accent is unmissable.

“No.” The young man smiles and starts explaining. There’s a strange air of pride in his voice. “I am— was,” he frowns, “an exchange student from Russia. The guys and I went to the same school, that’s how we met.” He speaks quietly, as if, for some unknown reason, he respects Leonard’s desire not to let the others know he’s awake.

It’s very weird to meet someone who simply had the misfortune to visit a foreign country at such a hellish time. Quite literally the end of the fucking world. For a second Leonard feels like apologizing to the guy. But then he starts wondering what’s happening over there now, on the other side of the planet. In the Old World, or in Australia. How is New Zealand doing? Papua New Guinea? Madagascar? Are there still pyramids in Giza? The world is so big and they’re stuck here, for good as it seems.

“Pavel Chekov,” the young man introduces himself and smiles broadly. No matter how much he wants to, and how much more convenient it would be, Leonard could not hate him.

“You already know my name,” he grumbles in return. “I would shake your hand but you tied me up.”

“We had to, you didn’t want to go with us,” Chekov replies quietly. “We just want to get to a safe place.”

Leonard prefers not to say anything. Instead, he again listens to the conversation between Jim and Spock, the two of them still won’t calm down.

“Okay, let’s skip it, so you think you know where the Shelter is?”

“I absolutely definitely know where the Shelter is.” Spock says and it’s the first time Leonard picks up an emotional tone in Spock’s voice, something reminiscent of complacency.

This guy clearly likes to be the smart one. Arrogant bastard.

“Dare to share this knowledge with me? We are kind of almost a team again, as you graciously agreed to take me back.”

After a rather long pause, Spock answers. “The place is called Enterprise.”

Leonard feels a chill run down his spine. His last remaining hope that they didn’t actually know where it is fades quickly. They do know. Now it’s basically useless to try and convince them not to go there, he’s in over his head.

“There’s gotta be a town called Enterprise in just about every state. Where is it? And how did you find it?” Jim asks demandingly.

“It’s in Utah. Uhura knows the place.”

“You were there?”

“I worked in a laboratory. The Shelter is not exactly what you think.” Uhura answers with a level voice and Leonard rolls his eyes. “It’s a former military base but it’s really safe there, and they have supplies. Food, medicine, basically everything, really.”

Well it depends on who you are, Leonard thinks gloomily. If you are military, a scientist or an engineer you’ll most likely be accepted. The only problem is that they do not want to save the world, or anyone else, but themselves. Maybe they will keep their word, reward the guys for delivering the runaway with some food or transport and fuel, but nothing more. A group of school kids, no matter how cool and smart they think they are, may not even dream of a place in the Shelter. They only accept those who might be useful in the long run. Their capacity to take in people is not endless, and they’re perfectly aware of it. However, for Leonard there will always be a life-long bed.

Now, if only he had Jim’s talent to talk prettily, he would try to explain everything to them. The smartest thing would probably be to start with Jim and to get him on his side, Leonard thinks. Amazing, it already looks like a plan.

“Why did you leave?” Scotty asks.

Uhura is silent for a while, then she answers quietly. “I didn’t leave, I was suspended.” She sighs. “They kicked me out.” 

“What did you do?” Now Jim almost sounds intrigued.

“It’s not that I did something… well, I left the door open.”

Her name is Nyota, Leonard recalls now, but he’s never seen her in person. On his last day in the Shelter he woke up from a small cool draft of air, you notice these kinds of things when you’ve been locked in for months, even if it’s barely there. He saw that the door was slightly ajar and realized that one of the interns must have forgotten to close it for some reason. There was no one at the post and, as if in a trance, he’d pulled on a white lab coat left by someone on a chair. It was too small for him but he didn’t care. He walked to the lab’s exit, opened it with the ID card he found in the coat pocket. The screen flashed and showed him the security clearance level and information of the cardholder with a name and photo. Uhura, Nyota. Level D clearance. He slowly walked along the long dimly lit corridors, scanning the pass at every door without problems. Uhura’s face flashed on the screen every time. A soldier ran towards him, but he didn’t even raise his head, and then Leonard heard the alarms howling in the distance. Apparently, one of the ‘infected prisoners’ escaped and everyone rushed to catch the Dead.

Leonard successfully passed through all the doors, it seemed way too easy, and entered the soldier’s locker room. It still smelled of sweat and a sharp cologne but it was empty. Several lockers were open. The alarmed guards, most likely awakened by the howling sirens, must have changed their clothes in a hurry. Leonard pulled on a full set of camouflage, it almost fit – he lost a lot of weight in recent months, although he was fed properly. Then he balled up the white coat and his old clothes, stuffed them into one of the lockers and slowly went out of the room.

On the way, he met several more soldiers, but no one even glanced at him. Everyone was in a panic over the Dead, and no one seemed to have noticed his disappearance. He knew the base far and wide, and easily found a way out, after all he was here from the very beginning of the Shelter.

When he was finally outside he breathed in deeply and ran. He jumped into the first Jeep he came across and, no longer worrying about the noise he would make and the Infected he could alert through it, knocked out the base gate with the car’s bumper and rushed off. He floored the gas pedal, not even thinking of the road, until the Jeep ran out of fuel.

So it seems, intentionally or not, this girl, Uhura, contributed to his escape. But now she wants to get him back.

When Leonard tunes in to the conversation once more, Jim and Spock are arguing about something again.

“Are they always like this?” He asks Chekov.

The boy shrugs. “Well basically yes.”

“How do you guys endure that?”

“Well, firstly, we have no choice. Secondly, we are used to it. Thirdly, I always have this.” Chekov smiles and salutes him with a small flask, then he takes a sip of it. “Do you want some?”

After a moment of thought, Leonard nods. Honestly what else he can do. His head already hurts from the sedative; it definitely can’t get any worse. Another thing is that at any given opportunity he’ll have to run without looking back, and for that endeavour he needs all his strength and a certain amount of courage. And he’ll take it liquid if he can get it.

Chekov puts the flask to his lips and Leonard takes a sip of what turns out to be very nice whiskey.

“Aren’t you too young for this?”

Chekov shrugs. “Do you know that whiskey was invented in Russia?”

Leonard is almost certain that it’s not true, but he still smiles back. Naturally, he may be very angry they abducted him, but in the end he perfectly understands their motivation. 

“Can you at least untie me?” Leonard tries, just in case.

“No, I’m sorry.” Chekov shakes his head, making his curls bounce a bit, and gives him an empathetic look, as if he meant it.

Leonard swears quietly under his breath. Jim and Spock are no longer arguing and it’s quiet in the car, there’s only the noise of the road. Leonard looks out the window at the passing trees again. Then they drive past a field; there’s a scarecrow wobbling in the wind, its fake hands dangling like whips, and Leonard scowls. Who needs these things now that there are no crows? How many things have lost their meaning. Then he takes a closer look and realizes that it isn’t a dummy. It’s moving, it’s a weak Infected. It turns its head and gives the passing car a blank look. 

A few minutes later, they pass the green sign that says ‘Welcome to Sweet Home Alabama’ and Spock turns off the Interstate. They drive for a little while longer, no one is saying a word, not even Chekov. Then Spock pulls up the side of the road to a rundown gas station.

“If you need gas this station won’t get you anywhere. I’ve been here before. There’s nothing left.”

In the front seat Jim flinches hard as Leonard speaks up and slowly twists around. The look on his face is indecipherable. 

“We are not only stopping to get gas, Dr. McCoy. We typically check small stores for remaining food as well.” Spock says, voice unperturbed.

“He’s not a doctor,” Jim mumbles and Leonard almost smiles.

Jim and Spock get out of the car and so does Uhura. Scotty jumps out of his seat and turns around to fold down part of it to let Chekov out. He gives Leonard a stern look.

“You stay in the car. No stunts.”

“What if I need to pee?” Leonard asks sneeringly.

“Not my problem.” With these words he rushes after the others.

Chekov shakes his head in disapproval. Apparently, he’s already under the impression that he and Leonard are friends now. “Let's go if you need to.”

“I don't need to,” Leonard replies gloomily. “But I wouldn't mind stretching my legs.”

“Come on then. Scotty’s always menacing when he’s hungry. ”

Leonard grins. Scotty is like five feet nothing and no matter how viciously his eyes were sparkling, Leonard would never call him menacing. 

“Why did we stop here? Didn’t you see the Dead in the field? What if others are nearby?”

“If Spock decided to make a stop, then he considers this place safe. He rarely makes mistakes,” Chekov says and shrugs.

“Right,” Leonard grumbles. He awkwardly crawls out of the car after Chekov; his tied hands aren’t helping in keeping his balance and as a result he nearly falls out of the car.

Outside he’s greeted by Uhura’s disapproving look. “It’s a short stop. You should have stayed where you were. ”

“Hell no. You should have checked that door, darling.” He gives her a toothy grin.

Uhura regards him with a frown. “Maybe I le—” But she doesn’t get to finish her sentence.

“There’s actually still food here, guys!” Scotty’s voice echoes from the small gas station shop. Leonard cringes at the loud yell but moves towards the shop alongside the others.

“Did no one ever teach you how to behave in case of a zombie apocalypse?” Leonard grumbles under his breath but no one replies, they’re all busy taking apart the shop, looking for anything edible.

While they’re all digging through the rubble, occasionally exclaiming that they found something new, Leonard is standing towards the door, or what’s left of it anyway. Chekov, who is apparently assigned to watch him, eyes him every now and then but seems confident that Leonard won’t run first chance he gets. He’s an idiot.

Leonard glances around the perimeter, looking for an easy escape route but then, out of the corner of his eye he notices movement outside. “Hey!”

Spock’s gaze snaps to him instantly, he frowns, opens his mouth to say something but then his eyes shift and he, too, notices what Leonard saw.

“Shit!” It’s Jim’s voice and he rushes past Leonard, making him stumble slightly. Outside the bang of a car door slamming shut can be heard and then gravel kicks up as  _ someone  _ floors the gas of the Pathfinder.

Jim runs after the car, shouting profanities but it’s no use. Soon he stops running and seems to slump in on himself. 

“Ну пиздец, теперь мы в жопе!1” Chekov’s voice comes from Leonard’s left. He doesn’t understand it but gets the feeling it’s surely some colourful expletive. 

“Well, you’re definitely the worst captors ever. Not even Tom and Jerry were that stupid, and they were dumb as straw. Ask Jim.” Leonard laughs bitterly. Beside him Scotty echoes “Tom and Jerry?” but Leonard ignores him.

Spock’s face is carefully blank but when Jim walks back up to them and avoids Spock’s look pointedly he knits his eyebrows together slightly. Jim walks straight past them to one of the abandoned cars parked nearby. He checks it over before walking to the next one, inspecting it as well. Chekov sighs heavily before he joins Jim.

“I told you, it’s no use,” Leonard calls after them, “I’ve been here before.”

“Shut up, mate,” Scotty says before following Chekov. Uhura huffs and does the same.

Leonard’s left standing with Spock who looks at him for a moment before asking, “What else do you know about this place?”

Leonard sighs. “Nothing. Just that there’s no gas in any of the damn tanks because I tried siphoning from here a few weeks back.” 

Spock purses his lips but says nothing.

Leonard takes the moment of overall distraction to once again survey his surroundings. If only he gets all of them to not pay attention to him for a moment he could make a run for the town. The first houses aren’t too far away. If he makes it there he could easily hide…

As if on cue there’s a sudden metallic bang followed by a scream of pain. Leonard can tell it came from Uhura but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it. The scream coming from one of his friends is enough to make Spock shift his attention away from Leonard and to run towards the others. It’s now or never.

Leonard takes off, bound hands held close to his chest to inconvenience him as little as possible. He runs as fast as he can in the opposite direction the group is scattered. He makes it about fifty yards and actually starts to believe that maybe he’ll get away with it but then he can hear that someone’s running after him. And they’re getting closer. He tries to run even faster but the way his arms are clutched to his chest unbalances Leonard and so he falters briefly. It’s all his chaser needs to catch up.

The heavy impact on his back takes Leonard down immediately. He’s quite literally tackled to the ground and as he wurms his way onto his back he’s staring up at Jim. No matter how many times you fall it still hurts all the same, you can’t be ready for it. Jim’s breathing heavily and stares at him with wide eyes. 

“I should have let that lady in Baxley eat you,” Leonard bites out but Jim just keeps staring at him, panting. Eventually he sits back on his heels and tilts his head to the side, expression completely unreadable.

“I’ve got you, Bones.”

Leonard’s heart skips a beat and all witty remarks die in his throat as Jim’s words bring back memories of warm hands and gentle fingers. On his hips, his stomach; hot breath against his skin... 

He’s so fucked. All fight drains out of him and he barely notices Chekov crouching down next to them, how he’s being dragged up, back to his feet, and led back to the rest of the group.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Well fuck, we’re screwed! Back


	2. My Honest Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re very sorry it took us so long to post this! Thank you to everyone who’s still around!

As they rejoin the group, Leonard flanked by Jim on his left and Chekov on his right, Spock is kneeling next to Uhura. She’s holding her left arm and Spock seems to be examining an injury.

“What happened?” Jim asks, his grip on Leonard’s upper arm tightens.

“It’s nothing, just a scratch. It surprised me, that’s all,” Uhura says dismissively.

“Can you take a look?” Chekov asks Leonard.

The request surprises Leonard. He wouldn’t have thought the others would want anything more to do with him now. That they’d just drag him along until they got to the Shelter. Bless Chekov’s young soul.

“I—,” Leonard clears his scratchy throat, “Yeah, sure.”

He crouches down next to Uhura and Spock carefully pulls her shirt sleeve up. There’s a bloody gash halfway up her lower arm but it doesn’t look too bad. “Do you have disinfectant and something to wrap it up? It’s not too bad but I guess you don’t wanna risk an infection.” Leonard smiles grimly and looks up at Jim who rolls his eyes.

Spock follows their brief exchange with a raised eyebrow before he gets up and grabs one of the backpacks the group took out of the car with them. Leonard had wondered why they took all their stuff with them for what was supposed to be a quick stop but now it pays off. One of Spocks rules, he assumes.

After some rummaging Spock actually pulls a roll of gauze and a bottle of disinfectant out of the backpack. For a second it seems like he wants to hand it to Leonard before he remembers that his hands are tied. Instead he kneels back down next to Uhura.

“Show me the label of the stuff,” Leonard says brusquely and Spock does so without complaint. Leonard hums. “Should be alright, just pour a little over the wound. That’s gonna sting, sweetheart.” He shoots Uhura a fake smile but she just rolls her eyes.

“I’ll live.”

Spock does as Leonard told him and wraps the bandage around Uhura’s arm after. She gets up and rolls her sleeve back down her arm.

“So what now?” Scotty asks, Scottish accent heavy in his voice and Leonard thinks that he’s gotta ask him about that later, should he ever get the chance. The entire group just looks like such a random selection of different people. Still, they managed to survive until now. 

“It seems we have no choice but to walk, in the hopes that we will find a new car soon,” Spock says matter-of-factly. Scotty groans in reply and Chekov sighs heavily. “Do all of you still have your weapons?” There’s affirmative mumbling from Uhura, Scotty and Chekov.

“You don’t happen to have a spare?” Jim asks hopefully.

Spock looks at him for a long moment but then he grabs his backpack again and hands Jim a pistol and a clip of ammunition. “Now that we don’t have a car whose tires you can shoot...” 

“Thanks!” Jim seems genuinely surprised and for a second Leonard feels bad for him. He watches him load the weapon with practiced ease, then Jim shoves it in the band of his jeans.

“That’s how you lose your balls,” Leonard grumbles. Chekov snickers next to him.

“You got experience with that?” Uhura asks with mild amusement in her voice.

“Nah, he’s fine,” Jim pipes up. All eyes land on him, but he’s only looking at Spock. There’s something challenging in his eyes. Interesting, Leonard thinks, and files it away for later.

\---

“Why don’t we call them zombies, anyway? It’s what they are.”

They’ve been walking for close to five hours now; every car they encountered was either without gas, too damaged to drive or they didn’t get it to start. It’s frustrating. Due to the lack of cars they reconsidered their route and got off the main road, taking a shortcut. At every crossroad Chekov proudly rustles his brand new paper map and wrinkles his forehead funnily, trying to figure out the right direction. At least Scotty seems to have warmed up to Leonard a bit. An hour ago he started talking to him without that hostile tone of voice.

“Because ‘zombie’ is a funny movie word and there ain’t anything funny about the Dead.” Leonard’s face darkens.

“He has a point,” Chekov agrees.

“Actually, Dr. McCoy,” Spock chimes in with his usual haughty manner, “the term comes from Haitian folklore.”

“For the hundredth time, I’m not a doctor, Mr. Spock.” He begins to understand why Jim is so irked by the guy. 

“He has a hard-on for academic degrees. Just ignore it,” Jim advises. “It’s getting dark, guys.” 

It is indeed getting dark. The sky is blood-red with dark blue splashes of clouds; the setting sun reflects off the dark green grass of the sea of fields and black isles of wild dry bush. Leonard knows exactly where they are. He has another hideout nearby.

“I know a place not far from here. We can stay there overnight.”

“Yeah right,” Scotty sneers.

“How would we know it’s not one of your ploys to try to escape again,” Uhura remarks and Leonard has to give it to her, she’s cautious.

“Suit yourself,” he grumbles, “but don’t blame me if we get overrun by Dead. It’s dangerous to travel on foot at night when you can’t see shit.”

Next to him Chekov shudders slightly.

“How do the Dead even see at night? It’s not like they have better vision and some don’t even have eyes anymore,” Scotty muses, hiking his backpack up higher.

“They don’t see. Well, some maybe do but they don’t rely on their vision. They follow the smell of blood and sweat and can sense body heat.”

“How do you know so much about the Dead?” Jim asks and falls into step next to Leonard. He just shrugs, it’s rather awkward with his hands still tied.

“I pay attention.”

“Oh cut it, Uhura told us you were head of the research team and studied the Infected for months,” Scotty says. He sounds annoyed. Leonard snorts in disdain. 

Of course Uhura knows everything. Girls like her always know everything. She probably read his file. How much of her knowledge did she share with the others? Apparently though, she doesn’t tell them everything ‒ she didn’t tell them about his ‘special feature’ until the last minute. Girls like her also love to keep some things to themselves. 

“What?” Jim huffs and skips ahead towards Uhura. He’s such a child, except that he’s not. There are no more children in their world. 

“So why,” Jim says louder so that they can all hear him, “did they lock up Bones here,” he points at Leonard over his shoulder, “in the Shelter? Since he was the leader of a research team why would they have to lock him up just to keep him there? The Shelter is safe and has food and I’m sure they treated him well since he’s obviously important. Why would he want to run away?”

Leonard feels knots tightening up in his stomach. He knows exactly that from this moment on things are only going to get worse. 

Uhura shrugs. “At some point he decided he didn’t want to help anymore.” 

“What? Why? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I don't know, why don’t you ask Leonard?”

“What exactly did they work on in the lab?” Jim asks.

“A cure for the virus. That’s all I know. They didn’t tell us much,” Uhura says dryly.

Jim stops and looks back at Leonard. He knows people. He knows Leonard, Bones, moody and grumpy, who speaks in monosyllables and shivers at every touch. He saved Jim in that store, although he could and probably should have passed by. He brought him to his house, his safe place. It was him who insisted that they return and let those people out of the cannibal basement. Leonard, who regretted he couldn’t save his dying father. 

“Bones, why?” Jim asks and his face is pale as chalk.

Leonard feels his blood rumbling in his ears. “Oh you want to know why?” He could never think clearly in moments like this. He wouldn’t be in this situation if he could. With tied hands, he pulls the collar of his sweater away roughly, exposing his scarred neck. “That’s why!”

Jim opens his mouth but can’t force a single word out. 

“And it’s not like I gave them my neck to chew on willingly.”

“Holy shit, man!” Scotty and Chekov both come closer and stare at the exposed skin covered in intricate patterns of scars in horror. Spock and Uhura prefer to admire the scene from afar.

“Yeah, it ain’t pretty,” Leonard says grimly.

“Are these bites? What the hell, how are you alive?” Scotty asks at last and reaches out as if to touch the scar.

Leonard flinches hard, which almost makes him stumble to the ground, but manages to stay on his feet. “Don’t you dare touch me,” he hisses. “Ever.” 

“Given that Leonard said earlier that  _ he is  _ the cure, I suspect that it means he has immunity.”

“Excellent, Spock, you can sit down now.” Leonard rolls his eyes. 

“Did they just set the Infected on you?” Jim asks finally, voice tight.

Leonard nods slowly, and looks away. There are so many places he’d rather be right now. So many things he’d like to talk about instead of this. 

“It started after McCoy refused to work on the vaccine,” Uhura states matter-of-factly.

“Why?” Jim asks.

“Because General Krall is a damn psychopath,” Leonard growls. 

“No, why did you refuse to work?”

“Because it doesn't work, Jim! They can’t be saved! They are already gone. I tried to explain, but they didn’t listen, didn’t believe me! I was hoping to create a vaccine for the survivors, but they didn’t want it! They locked me in a cell, appointed Smith as the head of the research team. That prick has mush for brains. No clue what they were working on from that point on, but damn they were tenacious. They’d throw one Infected at me every two weeks, the weak ones. The ones that couldn’t do enough damage to actually kill me. But you know what? Not even one lasted longer than five minutes after they bit me. I continued to work on my own after I got out. They can’t be cured, okay? They’re too far gone.” Leonard pauses to catch his breath. He hasn’t said this much at once since his last oral exam, probably. “Let me go, please. You don’t need me, it won’t change anything.” 

Needless to say his speech did not convince anyone. All he’s got as a result is five pairs of eyes staring at him in disbelief.

“So you know how the virus works,” Spock asks to clarify. He looks at Leonard with curiosity, as if he was some strange animal.

“More or less. It’s just some stupid coincidence that—”

“So you reached a dead end in your research and gave up?”

“I did not give up. Look, I don’t even have a medical degree. I am not an infectious disease specialist, after all I was going to become a surgeon. Maybe that’s the case, I just lack knowledge. Hell, man, our team consisted of two therapists, a nurse and a gynecologist, okay?! Or maybe it’s just too late. If we had started immediately as it happened... now the bodies are too damaged and—”

“Or maybe it’s that you don’t have the right equipment like they do in the Shelter?” Uhura asks skeptically. “Maybe they have new specialists.”

“Trust me, it’s useless. They’re just gonna keep doing it over and over again.” Leonard is trying very hard to not make his words sound pathetic. He should’ve stayed silent, he thinks. Stay silent and wait for the next chance to escape.

“We’ll make sure this doesn’t happen.” Spock says calmly. “But we have to get you back. As long as there is hope to find a cure...”

“If you’re hoping for a reward forget about it, they won’t give you anything. You don’t matter to them, you’re just a bunch of kids!“

“Listen, you—” Scotty begins, his face has gone red, but Chekov touches his shoulder and shakes his head and he trails off.

Spock looks at Leonard carefully. “You said it yourself, they continued to work. So there is hope. You just gave up. We will return you so that they can continue the research. ”

_ You just gave up. _ There’s something in his voice that makes Leonard understand perfectly that Spock isn’t trying to offend him; he’s simply stating a fact. However, his words, spoken in a calm and confident tone, resonate and echo in his head. He can wait for the right moment and run away from Jim and his guys. He knows the roads and places. But the words will haunt him, because it’s what he tells himself every day before he sleeps and as he awakes. 

“We’re wasting time, guys, we have to go. We’re gonna get him back, and you get the reward, as we’d agreed, they’ll figure out what to do with McCoy,” Uhura says quietly and Spock nods. What a pair, Leonard thinks gloomily. They turn around and start walking again, as if they know for sure that the others will follow. And they do. 

“Walk,” Scotty nudges Leonard in the back and he shudders bodily.

Jim sighs and he sounds tired as he says, “Come on, Scotty, don’t be a dick.”

Then they walk, silently, each lost in their own thoughts and when dusk eventually blurs the boundary between the sky and gray road on the horizon Spock asks, “Leonard, I recall you said something about a place to sleep.”

Unbelievable. Leonard huffs humorlessly. “Yeah, should be safe enough unless it got overrun but I doubt it.” He leads the way and the others follow him hesitantly.

Leonard doesn’t need a map, he knows the area like the back of his hand which is dirty, calloused and sore. Now as they walk along a rickety blackened hedge past abandoned farms and dangerously lurched power poles, they’re trying not to make too much noise.

As he finally notices the familiar silhouette of a house behind a strip of crooked trees, Leonard picks up his pace and Jim cautiously grabs him by the elbow.

“I'm not trying to escape. We need to go this way.” Leonard points to a broken-through section of the hedge with his tied hands.

He leads them past a farm house with broken windows and an empty doghouse, a garage with its gate halfway rolled up, a rusty tractor with only three wheels and further into an overgrown field.

“Why don’t we spend the night in the house? It looks like a decent place to sleep,” Uhura asks.

“Because the house has an owner,” Leonard replies grimly. No matter how abandoned and destroyed a building may look, someone could live in it.

This area had lost power a long time ago and the people left. The survivors still prefer solid and comfortable housing. The Dead don’t give a shit, obviously. An ugly thought pops up in the bag of his mind – Leonard could lead the guys into an area that’s positively teeming with the Dead, he knows a couple of places here. But he still wants to retain the right to be called a man. He is also tired. And then, there’s Jim.

Jim’s right there, their steps synchronized, and Leonard won’t turn his head to look at him; he feels his warmth. Sometimes their shoulders almost touch, and then Leonard wants to apologize to him for some reason. For the fact that he wasn’t smart enough to find the cure. That he couldn’t keep his mouth shut when he concluded that his research had come to a dead end. When he got locked up he immediately realized his mistake – he shouldn’t have made a fuss and just continued to work on another vaccine. With his mouth shut. Anyone in his place would’ve done that. He wasn’t ingenious. He wouldn’t even cheat on exams. “Nobody likes a sly ass,” his father used to say, as he probably learned it from McCoy the eldest, when Leonard was still a child and tried to cheat when they played rummy in the evenings on the terrace of their house on the outskirts of Atlanta. Darkness approached the house from the fields and crickets cried out in the garden; crimson sunset burning out the sky. Then the world turned upside down and he found out that everything he knew was wrong and that everything he thought he had was gone. 

After some time, he stops in front of a large metal shed at the far end of the field and silently nods at the door with a huge rusty lock on it. 

Jim can’t hold back a grin.

“Oh, I see, this is your trademark.”

He easily removes the lock from the loop and flings it to the side.

Leonard shrugs. It’s the easiest way to check if someone has been in his shelter during his absence. People won’t bother to lock up an overnight place they no longer intend to come back to. In case the hideout finds new residents, they would hang a more decent lock. Jim dives into the darkness of the doorway and then swears, tripping over something.

“There should be a flashlight to the right of the door,” Leonard prompts helpfully. The shed has no windows and the door fits tightly, a small source of light lit inside won’t be visible from the outside and will not attract unwanted attention. Oh how tired he is of this. 

Someone touches his shoulder and he walks in. Then the others shuffle inside and the door is closed. They stand in complete darkness and silence for a moment.

A flashlight clicks and a white circle of light starts sliding over the walls sometimes it snatches Jim’s pale face from the darkness. He squints at the light, but he smiles. “Stop it already, Pavel!”

Finally, Jim finds the old lantern by the door and lights the candle. Nothing has changed since the last time Leonard stayed here. The shed is empty, the air is stuffy and it smells of dust. He prefers to keep it simple. There is nothing to attract robbers. Basically nothing at all. In one corner lies a pile of blankets and mattresses, in the other a stack of books and medical journals. There are a few well concealed bottles of water and an aluminum pot. He recalls there’s a gun and ammunition hidden under the mattresses but before Leonard manages to assess his chances of using it, Jim already finds it. “Oh wow, Bones. So provident,” he comments quietly. He checks if the gun is loaded and whistles softly.

Spock inspects the room carefully and nods approvingly. “Well, this is a really good place to sleep, Leonard.”

Leonard snorts. As if he needs his approval. 

“You know many hideouts,” Jim remarks.

To this, Leonard only shrugs. After all, he's been on the run for almost ten months now. During this time, he learned to be forethoughtful. He also kind of invented his very own scheme of avoiding danger and finding goods. Maybe even enjoying the freedom that came with the great downfall, though the thought of it scared him shitless. At some point, you realize that you can exist even in complete chaos, if you don’t try to tame it. 

He remembers that somewhere he hid a can of beans, his mouth waters at the thought. Three years ago, he hated damn beans.

The guys throw their backpacks on the floor and pull the mattresses around, arranging some sort of sleepover party, the horror version, though, because nobody brought pajamas and the bogeyman stories are reality.

“You can sleep here,” Jim points to a place at the wall farthest from the door, between the mattress he has chosen for himself and Scotty. “Make yourself at home.”

Scotty rummages around in his backpack for a long time and eventually pulls out several packages of roasted peanuts he probably found at that gas station. “Dinner!” He proclaims in a loud whisper and throws a packet towards each of the guys, one of them flies to Leonard’s assigned sleeping place.

He pulls a face and awkwardly flops onto the mattress. He lies on his back, stretches out although each muscle in his back whines in protest and closes his eyes. Jim and Spock are bickering again, this time it’s about his gun, but he’s only listening to them halfway until their aggressive whispering becomes louder and angrier. 

“I just don't want you to shoot the wall.”

“Calm down, I’m not a complete moron for fucks sake, Spock!”

“I thought so, but then you took your gun and shot the tires and we had to walk twenty miles before we could find a new car!”

“I had a fucking good reason to do that. Otherwise, you would have just jumped in the car and left Chekov in the woods to be torn to pieces by the Dead! With a broken arm! Because that’s your reasonable approach, right?” Jim’s voice is barely louder than a whisper, but it’s soaked with bitterness. 

“And how did he even end up alone in the forest with a broken arm in the first place, Jim? You never asked, but I’ll let you know that his arm didn’t heal correctly, now he can barely use his left hand properly.” Now there’s something reminiscent of despair in Spock’s voice and this, apparently, strikes like thunder in the room. Nobody dares to say a word. 

Leonard sits up with a sigh.

“Show me your arm,” he says gruffly and Chekov inches closer, pushing up his left sleeve. Leonard starts palpating with a frown, his bound hands not helping. “Does it still hurt in any way?”

“Not really,” Chekov says with a shrug, “but I lost some range of motion.” He opens and closes his hand and rolls his wrist in demonstration. “And my grip isn’t as strong anymore.”

Leonard nods with a hum and turns Chekov’s arm. “Looks like your ulna was broken and healed improperly. Here, feel that?” He takes Chekov’s right hand and puts two fingers over the bump he felt in the bone. Chekov nods. “It’s called a malunion. The space between the displaced ends filled in with new bone.” Leonard sighs, “I’m sorry but there’s nothing I can do about it. You’d need surgery to fix it.”

Chekov nods again and rolls his sleeve down. “Yeah, I thought it must be something like that.”

“We tried to splint the fracture as well as possible. But we didn’t know if the bones were set right,” Scotty explains unexpectedly and sits down next to Chekov.

“It’s hard to set a fracture right without an x-ray and doctor present but I think it could have been worse.” Leonard muses. He yawns.

“It seems it is time that we rest,” Spock pipes up, “Scotty, can you take the first watch?”

For a second it seems like Scotty wants to object but then he nods and gets up, takes one of the blankets and drops down next to the door. Leonard is about to say that it’s fine and it’s very improbable that they’ll be attacked because he’s stayed here for weeks before, alone, and didn’t get overrun, but then he decides against it. Chekov curls up on his mattress and Leonard has to suppress a grin as Spock lies down stiff as a poker. Quiet sets in after a while and only the sounds of the wind and cicadas can be heard.

Leonard tries to get as comfortable as possible with his bound hands. He rolls onto his side, facing Jim and huffs. Jim looks back at him and gives him a small sympathetic smile.

“Do you always fight that much? You and Spock?” Leonard whispers.

Jim frowns before he shrugs awkwardly. 

“For real, though. It’s like you’re in love. Like an elderly married couple. Always bickering.”

Jim is quiet for a long time. It’s so unusual that Leonard props himself up on his arm to get a better look at him in the dim light coming from the lantern. There’s a strange expression on his face, one Leonard hasn’t really seen on Jim before. He glances away, then back at Leonard and now there’s something almost challenging on his face. Something that seems to scream ‘Don’t you get it?!’ at Leonard. His lip twitches.

Leonard stares at him for a moment longer and then it clicks. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Jim huffs and chuckles quietly, humourlessly. 

“But you’re not… together?” Leonard asks quietly, feeling incredibly awkward. 

“He’s straight,” Jim says dryly and Leonard glances into Spock’s direction. “I don’t care if he hears us. It’s nothing he doesn’t know anyway.” Jim sighs. 

“I’m… sorry.” God, Leonard is bad at this. He always was. 

“You know what’s the worst part? He was so incredibly nice about it. Fuck.” Jim drags a hand over his face. “Said that he’s sorry and that he really ‘values me as a good friend’.” He rolls his eyes. “Spock’s a good guy. He’s just… he can’t work too well with strong emotions, I guess.” He’s quiet for a moment. Leonard doesn’t dare say anything.

“We stumbled upon Spock’s parents a while back. They turned. We had to shoot them.” Jim lowers his voice. “Spock acted like it was nothing but it affected him. Of course it did, he’s only human after all.”

“Is he? I had my doubts,” Leonard says before biting his tongue but Jim’s lips twitch in a small smile.

“His blood is red at least,” Jim chuckles before he sighs again. 

No one says anything for a long time and Leonard assumes that’s the end of their conversation but then Jim speaks up again.

“I thought you were dying.” His words are so quiet Leonard can barely hear him.

“I’m not. At least not yet.” It’s a poor attempt at humour but it seems to work nonetheless.

“Good.” Jim turns around on his mattress then, facing away from Leonard. “Guess I have a thing for basket cases.” The words are nothing more than a mumble but before Leonard can ask Jim says “Goodnight, Bones” leaving no doubt he’s done talking for the night.

And so Leonard is once again left alone with his thoughts, he should probably get used to it.


	3. The Never-Ending Why

They’re ripped out of sleep by a loud bang. Leonard sits up abruptly, pulling on his restraints and subsequently cutting into his wrists. He curses. 

“For God’s sake, that idiot!”

Around him everyone is in motion, hands on their weapons, frantic eyes on the door.

Leonard just sighs. ”Oh calm down, I know who that is.”

“McCoy, I know you’re in there! Come out!” A familiar voice halls from outside the shed and Leonard struggles to his feet.

“Wait here, I’ll take care of this,” Leonard grumbles and starts walking just as another loud bang echoes through the air, making everyone flinch. “Jesus Christ, Buford, stop that! Are you insane?!”

Jim is on his feet as well, standing just behind Leonard and next to the door Spock is waiting with his gun raised. He must have taken over for Scotty watching the door somewhere during the night. 

Leonard walks over to the door, Jim tailing behind him. He pushes it open and they’re faced with the slightly crazed look of a middle-aged man. He looks pretty bad; his hair is long and matted, his clothes are torn in some places and dirty, and he’s pointing a shotgun at them.

“Why the hell are you shooting the shed when you know it’s me?!” Leonard asks grimly. He feels Jim shift anxiously behind him.

“I told you to stay away from my property! I do whatever I want here!” the man named Buford shouts. Leonard raises his bound hands to pinch the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh. Buford follows his movement with the shotgun.

“Everyone, meet Billie Buford, once owner of this fine establishment,” Leonard says with a. mocking flourish.

“I’m still the owner!”

“No one owns anything anymore, for fuck’s sake, stop yelling. We just spent a night here, we’re not planning to stay. We’ll get out of your way in a second,” Leonard says exasperatedly, behind him Chekov and Scotty appear in the door.

“Oh no, you’re not leaving,” Buford says and now his voice has a dangerous edge to it. He eyes Leonard’s bound hands and the way Spock and Jim are basically flanking him. Something heavy settles in Leonard’s gut. Fantastic, he must have seen the posters as well.

“What’s going on?” Scotty asks and Jim shushes him but Buford has already pointed his gun at him.

“I have the feeling that we have the same plan here.” Buford tilts his head as if he’s considering something. “Too bad I don’t like sharing very much.” An ugly grin appears on his face.

“Mr. Buford, we—” Spock starts but Buford interrupts him and points the shotgun at him now.

“Let’s see, if you hand over McCoy I’ll let you leave. If not, well...”

“I am sure there is another way we—” Spock tries again but to no avail.

“Shush, and no tricks,” he turns towards Chekov who stepped closer, “else I’ll set my dogs on you!”

Leonard groans. Buford is so stupid, he doesn’t have dogs, nobody does anymore. He  _ used to  _ have a dog, it turned into his dinner. He told that tragic story one particularly cold and windy winter day, sobbing, when Leonard was stupid enough to offer him his bourbon to bribe the guy into letting him stay in the shed. 

Leonard’s about to mention this vital piece of information when he spots movement out of the corner of his eye. It’s Uhura, she must have snuck out the back of the shed and carefully rounded the corner so she’s now standing behind Buford. Leonard glances at Spock who seems to have noticed her as well, and he gives him an infinitesimal nod.

“Alright,” Spock says and raises his hands in a placating manner. Buford frowns, clearly caught off guard. “We will surrender McCoy to you.”

“What?” Chekov pipes up but Jim shushes him harshly. Uhura uses the brief distraction to step away from the corner silently and closer towards then. From where Chekov and Scotty are standing they can’t see Uhura but Jim certainly can and he’s a smart guy, he figured her plan out already. So he does what he does best – talk.

“What are we getting out of it?” Jim asks, crossing his arms defyingly. Buford just sneers at him.

“Your life?”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s entirely fair, hm?”

“What the hell do you mean it’s not fair?! I let y—” But Buford doesn’t get further than that. He makes a startled noise before he drops to the ground, shotgun escaping his limp fingers and there’s a bright orange dart stuck in the side of his neck. Leonard winces in sympathy. 

“That thing is quite handy, I have to say.” Uhura walks up to them, grim smile on her face and tranq gun in her hand.

“Nice shot,” Jim compliments and Spock nods agreeably. Uhura chuckles. Chekov and Scotty look confused for a moment but grasp the situation quickly.

“Thank God that guy is such an idiot. There’s no dog, by the way, but I assume you guessed that.” Leonard sighs. “I say lets get him inside the shed and get out of here before he wakes up again.”

There’s some affirmative mumbling and then Jim and Scotty carry Buford into the shed. They drop him none too gently on a mattress and start gathering up their things.

“You know, I’d help but…” Leonard raises his still bound hands demonstratively. Chekov throws him a sympathetic glance and for a moment it seems like he wants to say something but one silent shake of Spock’s head stops him.

“Leonard, do you have anything else here that would aid us on our way to the Shelter? Food, water, medical supplies?” Spock asks in his usual monotone voice.

First of all, it would be really nice if he didn’t mention their destination that often. The word sends shivers down Leonard’s spine. Secondly, the moment he thought things couldn’t get any worse Murphy’s law proved him wrong. 

Leonard sighs, “Just a few bottles of water between those old tires,” he points towards a dusty pile, “If they’re still there, that is.” Then he sighs and grumbles, “How did he even find out about me?” 

Budford was painfully stupid and absolutely nuts, Leonard knew that from the first moment he accidentally wandered into this farm a month ago; it actually looked properly abandoned. Then the guy jumped out, wielding his gun and shouting something about rights and property. He lived in his illusionary world and up to some level it was understandable. After all this place always was a hellhole, nothing has changed drastically. Leonard offered him a bourbon and Budford let him drop in. Unexpectedly aware, he didn’t let him sleep in his house, but the shed was a better option anyway. Of course Leonard wouldn’t delude himself into thinking they owe each other something, fuck no, but still another reminder that he can’t rely on anybody or anything just stings a little. 

“Same posters, I assume.” 

“I have a feeling that our trip isn’t going to be a walk in the park since Bones is suddenly in high demand,” Jim says. “We really need a car.” 

“How did you guys find me?” Leonard asks, ignoring Jim for now. “It’s probably good to know what we should be on the lookout for as I was under the impression to be fairly cautious.” 

“Well that sure wasn’t easy since you can’t just google people anymore,” Scotty says, “but the lady here was quite helpful.” 

Uhura huffs as everyone turns towards her. “It wasn’t too hard, actually.” She shrugs. “And I wasn’t actually looking for you at first but then I came across the posters and if there’s one way to get back into the Shelter it’s to bring you back there. I might as well try. So I went to the first place I knew had a connection to you, the University of Mississippi, and on the way there I met this bunch,” she waves towards the group, “who had also seen the posters.” Chekov and Scotty nod affirmatively. “Logically I knew I was better off with someone else to tag along so I explained what I knew and we went to Ole Miss. Obviously we didn’t actually find much there, only some signs that people had been taking stuff but which place is still intact in this day and age? But then Spock had the idea to check the university’s database for information on you. Scotty and Pavel managed to get it to work with an external power source and we found out that you’re from the Atlanta area so that’s where we decided to go next. We knew it was a shot in the dark more or less but people tend to gravitate back to familiar places.” Spock hums agreeably. “So we went to Georgia,” Uhura continues, “Around the time we got there we were running a bit low on resources so we checked every house we came across on the way.”

“And in one of them we found three bodies and a half-dead old hag who told us that she’d seen McCoy with someone else and that they were the reason her grandsons were dead and that we ‘should go get them!’,” Scotty chimes in. “She could even tell us what direction you went.”

“I sure hope you didn’t take any of the meat that was in the freezers and fridge there,” Jim mumbles uneasily. Scotty looks like he wants to ask but Jim’s look stops him.

“So we just went into the direction that woman told us and about two weeks later we were close to a town and heard a sudden commotion.”

“It literally came to life!” Chekov exclaims and the others nod.

“And then we saw two people climbing down the fire escape and running to a car.”

“That would have been us,” Jim says and Leonard agrees grimly.

“And then I assume you just followed us and waited until morning?” Leonard asks and Chekov nods.

“Great.”

While she’d been talking, Uhura started to roll up her sleeve to check the wound she received the previous day. Leonard steps closer to her.

“How’s it look? Any throbbing pain?”

Uhura shakes her head. “It seems fine.”

Leonard hums before he turns towards Spock and Chekov. “Do you have some more gauze? It would be better to put a fresh bandage on it.”

Chekov nods eagerly and starts rummaging in one of the backpacks while Uhura carefully unravels the old bandage completely.

As he’s fixing the new gauze Leonard wonders if he’s imagining the grateful air surrounding Spock.

\---

Minutes later they’re walking again, just as they did yesterday and Jim once again realizes that it’s never going to get any better. It’s an endless road and it leads nowhere. Even if he somehow manages to win his friends’ trust again, even if they actually get somewhat of a reward at the Shelter, it changes just about nothing. The world’s in ruins, forever.

He remembers the last day on the farm, the bitter taste of whiskey, and the ‘there’s no way back, even when it’s all over’. Back then Jim thought that Leonard just wanted to change the topic and that it came out awkwardly. Now Jim knows that Leonard had almost spilled his secret. He’s actually so ridiculously bad at lying. Maybe that’s the reason he prefers to not talk at all. But it doesn’t matter, Jim thinks with a small smirk, he’s so easy to read, he has his feelings written all over his face. 

He doesn’t back away from Leonard even by a single step and watches him out of the corner of his eye, although now he’s quite sure that the man won’t try to escape again, not this soon. He may be impulsive to some extent, but he’s definitely not an idiot. More likely a tactician than a strategist. Now that it’s absolutely clear that everyone knows his face, thanks to the idiotic posters, the best tactic is to stay put and quiet which he manages beautifully. Leonard didn’t say a word since they left the shed. He walks, looking straight ahead, wearing his signature frown. Sometimes he stretches his numb fingers; the skin on his wrists turned red where the rope rubbed over it and Jim wants to untie it badly. The whole thing is just ridiculous. At least he’s the only one in the group not loaded with a bag, Jim thinks with a bit of envy. His shoulders are aching from a heavy backpack. The thing is, even though he knows they’re doing the right thing it feels so terribly wrong to return Leonard to the Shelter. He fears that place, and even if he lied about everything else – nobody can fake that kind of blind fear, it’s so intense Jim can smell it. Of course, based on Uhura’s words it only makes sense that they bring him back, and potentially there’s an actual chance to create the cure and to fix everything to some extent. That’s such a wonderful perspective, really, but why the fuck should they trust Uhura? 

Scotty and Chekov walk behind engrossed in lively discussion, their hissing loud whispering interspersed with bursts of muffled laughter. Spock and Uhura lead the group; they are also talking about something, but too quietly for Jim to make out the words. Sometimes, Spock leans into Uhura’s personal space, obviously just to hear her better, and sometimes their hands almost touch. Even though he’s suspicious about the girl, Jim’s surprised to find out that he no longer feels the jealousy that was once too familiar, that he almost learned to box up in the back of his mind, but was never able to silence completely. The feelings he had (used to have?) for his friend were difficult to sum up in one word. However, during the time spent away from him, he found a definition for it – something akin to phantom pain. Longing for something that couldn’t happen, no what ifs. Generally speaking the most idiotic feeling that a person can experience. Now it’s gone. Now this is just longing.

Longing for the normal life that he once hated, longing for people he never loved or really knew, and longing for damn cereal with milk and the buzz of a TV in the living room. They didn’t have time to assess what global warming threatened in reality. What’s the difference now? Reasonable consumption, recycling, everything that used to be a busy topic at the talk shows back then – would it help them in the end? And if he did try to become a better version of himself, would his mother have stayed with him? He could ask Spock, he’s big on analyzing and evaluating probabilities.

As if hearing his thoughts, Spock turns to face them. They’d walked along the outskirts of a small town for a while but now Spock says, “It would make sense to go check the town; we have a better chance of finding a car there.” There you go,  _ chances _ . 

“Fuck no,” Leonard grumbles and Jim looks at him in confusion, but then he nods.

“Spock, there might be people there who also saw the damn posters!”

“Yes, that could be a problem,” Spock answers rather indifferently.

“If we turn right here, there’s a store!” Pavel exclaims cheerfully, pointing down the road, to which Spock silently nods and everyone turns right.

“Can’t spend a day without getting into trouble, huh?” Leonard grunts and Jim smiles.

“Relax, old man, we are armed to the teeth and able to run fast.”

“Maybe you are…” Leonard mumbles quietly.

The others pick up their pace at the sight of the store building, Leonard just sighs and looks up at the sky. What if he just stops in place and doesn’t go anywhere? But Jim gently takes his elbow and Leonard winces, but gives in, and allows him to be dragged forward.

“I don’t like all this either,” Jim mutters to himself.

  
  


Leonard leans against the wall, looking to the side gloomily. Someone has to keep an eye on the surroundings since Scotty prefers to stare at him with wildly annoying intensity instead. He doesn’t seem too happy to be stuck outside with the captive; Leonard was not allowed inside, as he’s unarmed and therefore useless, and you never know what else he could pull. Scotty is a top-notch guard, he didn’t even let Leonard take a leak around the corner peacefully, instead watched his back with some malevolent curiosity, how he tinkered with his fly, tied hands not helping with the matter at all. 

Jim emerges from the store with a grin on his face. “Scotty, it’s clean, you can go in. I’ll stay here with Bones.”

“Not sure about that… I don’t think Spock will like the idea, no offense, but we still kinda don’t trust you,” Scotty says, uncertain.

Jim shrugs carelessly. “As you wish, then help me. Hold this.” Jim throws a bundle at Scotty and turns to Leonard, this time he looks at him seriously. “You do realize I can run much faster than you? You have an okay start but you’re short on stamina.”

Leonard looks at him, puzzled.

“I’m just saying, don’t try to run, I’ll catch you. I’m gonna untie your hands now.”

Scotty stares at Jim in shock. “Have you lost your mind?”

“Well, you keep your gun on him, but as we’ve already established it’s better not to shoot him. Spock and I decided it’s better to somehow disguise Bones a bit, just in case. He’s a superstar now, it’s becoming a problem.”

“Are you serious?” Leonard looks at him in disbelief, but eagerly holds out his hands for Jim to free him from the rope.

Leonard practically groans in pleasure, flexing and stretching his aching wrists. One can find happiness in such little things. Jim’s glare is piercing and blue, and that’s it, he’s tired and doesn’t want to run anywhere. “Scotty, come on. Bones, get undressed. ”

Leonard shifts awkwardly from foot to foot. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Nope!” Jim exclaims mischievously. “Look what I found for you, it seems your size. He picks up the bundle from Scotty, which turns out to be a navy sweatshirt with the standard slogan "Sweet home Alabama" and, if it were not for the absurdity of the situation and the precautionary measures, Leonard would have laughed. Scotty giggles over Jim’s shoulder.

“This is ridiculous.” 

“No, this thing has a hood, now, look. The color will look good on you. Don’t waste time.”

Leonard is beyond confused, and just because he finally can, he combs his hands through his hair. It feels good. “I… okay. Could you just… turn away or something.”

“Yeah, not bloody likely. Now he’s shy. We turn away, and he’s gone,” Scotty replies sarcastically. “No way.”

But Jim understands what this is all about, and he nods slowly. “I saw you, Bones. It’s okay.”

Leonard’s shoulders twitch nervously, but then he swiftly takes off his sweater and throws it aside. “Were peeping then, huh? Why didn’t you ask?”

Scotty freezes with his mouth open, it’s a sight to get used to – scar upon scar littering Leonard’s upper body, and on his right side there’s a particularly nasty one where once a piece of flesh was torn out and now it’s overgrown with crimson wrinkled scar tissue. This close, it looks really fucking bad, Jim thinks, but says nothing.

“You never answer my questions, why bother asking? I thought it was some kind of mysterious medical condition. And you’d lie anyway.” Jim hands Leonard a pack of wet wipes, and he nods gratefully, but doesn’t look him in the eye. He feels damn helpless, as if he’s stripped to the bone, and he doesn’t even understand why. He remembers how they stared at him in the lab, not with much purely scientific curiosity. Rather with poorly concealed sadistic pry. In ancient times, men were proud of their scars received in battle. But now is not ancient times, and these are not battle scars, and Leonard hates everything about them. His own body is just a reminder of his stupidity and cowardice. He’s getting goosebumps from the way Scotty looks at him. 

“It is a medical condition, in a way,” Leonard replies with a sigh. He uses the wipes to sort of freshen up and throws them away with disgust. “I’d give anything for a hot shower. Unfortunately, I have nothing.”

“So if they bite you, you don’t get infected? Are you kind of immortal, or what?” Scotty asks suspiciously.

Leonard pulls on the hoodie and busily straightens his sleeves over his reddened and slightly swollen wrists. “I am very much mortal, so stop aiming at me. Don’t shoot off my head by accident.”

“So how is it?” Jim asks curiously. He comes closer and takes something out of his pocket. His warm hand brushes over Leonard’s cheekbone for a second, and he closes his eyes, when he opens them again the world takes on a sort of different perspective – Jim put glasses on his nose. At least they don’t have prescription lenses. 

“Are you serious?”

“They make you look smarter.”

“Thanks,” Leonard deadpans.

“Give me your hands.”

Leonard reluctantly obeys. Jim pulls a roll of gauze out of his other pocket and starts to wrap it around Leonard’s wrists, first his left, then his right. Leonard hates how good Jim’s touches feel on his skin. 

After he’s done, for the first time in his life, Leonard voluntarily allows himself to be tied up, and frankly, that’s a lot to think about, but sometimes it’s better not to dig too deeply. “It’s my blood,” he simply says. “If we skip past all the science and medical details, it’s lacking a particular antigen group, somehow that absence kills the virus. Everything would be just fine, if it wasn’t for the fact that only the virus itself keeps them… alive. Without it taking effect, they die from the damage to their bodies. You see, calling them the Dead is wrong, they are just very sick, Jim, and I can’t help them.”

“When they bite you, do they die?”

Leonard nods silently and finally meets Jim’s gaze. It’s impossible to read his expression and Leonard once again feels guilty for something, he’s already tired of the feeling, but he can’t shake it off. At some point, it seems to him that the world has stopped turning because Jim looks at him unblinkingly, but then a light cool breeze glides over his face, reminding him that this would be too easy. Stop the world, I want to get off.

“I do believe all this zombie virus talk could be terribly exciting, but please don’t kiss now,” Scotty chimes in and Jim smiles sunnily.

Leonard tries to move his hands, testing the rope, but Jim tied him up properly. “Can you tell me what the point of this masquerade is if a tied up person is still going to draw too much attention anyway, Jim?”

Jim shrugs carelessly. “I guess we haven’t really thought this through.”

“Do you ever think anything through?” Leonard asks acerbically and Jim opens his mouth to reply but he’s interrupted by Uhura who shows up to tell them the town seems safe enough.

“Safe enough doesn’t really sound promising,” Leonard grumbles as Jim nudges him forward, “But I guess I’ll take what I can get.”


	4. They Don’t Burn Like We Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some form of blasphemy, but since you’re all here reading a gay zombie story you probably won’t mind too much.  
> If you’d still rather want to know what’s gonna happen, just jump to the chapter end notes.

They meet up with Spock and Chekov a little further down the road. From what Leonard can tell the town really seems to be mostly deserted, and that includes an absence of cars – great.

“We checked around and there seems to be no one here,” Chekov says quietly, accent heavy.

“We better stay alert, though,” Jim says superfluously and Uhura nods.

Together they venture further into the town. The picture barely changes – abandoned homes and ransacked stores, empty streets, and, to everyone’s mild distress, a few of the Wanted posters bearing Leonard’s face. Leonard briefly wonders what he was thinking about on the day that picture was taken. It was his first week in med school and he should have been full of hope and excitement, but this younger version of himself in the faded picture looks sulky and so miserable. Yet he didn’t know what was coming.

“You think we’re gonna find a car here?” Scotty asks warily.

“It is worth a try and we should look out for more food and water as well.” Spock’s tone of voice is as monotone as usual as he leads them through the streets as if he knows the place.

Jim is silently walking next to Leonard, seemingly lost in thought, before he suddenly picks up his pace to join Spock up front. He talks to him for a minute but Leonard can’t make out the words. After a moment Spock shakes his head and Leonard can tell by the change in Jim’s posture that he doesn’t agree with whatever Spock said. Leonard sighs.

“He likes you.” Chekov’s sudden voice startles Leonard.

“What?”

“Jim,” Chekov says, “He likes you.”

“Oh,” Leonard states dumbly, trying to will away the faint blush spreading

across his cheeks. He pushes his fake glasses up his nose.

He’s spared from saying anything else as Jim falls into step next to them again, expression annoyed.

“I told Spock that it’s stupid to keep you tied up. That it’s only gonna cause us more trouble in the end and that I could definitely outrun you should you try to bolt,” Jim flashes Leonard a toothy smile at that before his face darkens again, “but obviously he disagrees.”

Leonard looks at Spock again who’s silently walking next to Uhura and Scotty. He’s not quite sure how the man got appointed as leader of the group but it’s clear that besides Jim no one really seems to doubt or question him.

“Thank you,” Leonard mumbles.

“Hm?”

“For trying, at least.”

The corners of Jim’s mouth quirk up in a small smile.

“Hey, guys,” Scotty voice pipes up a few minutes of quiet walking later. “Look.” He’s stopped walking and is pointing towards an unsuspecting 

three-story building. There seems to be a light flickering on and off on the second floor. 

“Huh,” Uhura frowns. There hadn’t been any sign of electricity anywhere in the town before.

“Do you think we should go check it out?” Chekov asks, whispering.

No one says anything for a moment. Leonard looks up and down the street, everything still seems absolutely deserted. If this was a movie there would be a tumbleweed rolling across the street. Oh, if this was a movie he would have endless ammunition and would never feel sorry. 

“Usually I’d deem it inadvisable but given the circumstances and our shortage of supplies I would say we,” Spock hesitates, “give it a shot.”

If the situation were any different Leonard would have laughed at Spock’s obvious uneasiness at using the figure of speech. Apparently it doesn’t stop Jim from snickering quietly though.

“Nevertheless we should proceed with caution.” Jim rolls his eyes at Spock. “Nyota, Scotty and I will go inside. Pavel, please stay with Jim and Leonard.”

“Nyota?” Jim echos as Chekov nods. “So you’re on a first name basis already?” The hostility in Jim’s voice seems to make even himself flinch slightly but he masks it well. Leonard wonders briefly when he learned to read Jim this well.

Spock ignores Jim’s words and walks up to the open door of the building, peeking inside carefully. Scotty fishes a flashlight out of his backpack and hands it to him.

“Wait here,” Spock says with a last long look at Jim before he steps inside, Uhura and Scotty following him.

Jim stares after them for a long moment, the muscles in his jaw ticking angrily, before he huffs and crosses his arms, leaning against the wall of the building. Why does he even care?

Leonard joins him with a heavy sigh, sitting down on a small ledge. He pushes the glasses up his nose again. They’re definitely too loose for him.

Chekov is still standing a few feet away from them, shifting his weight uneasily, his gaze drifting this way and that.

To Leonard’s surprise, Jim chuckles softly, “If you gotta take a leak, just do it, Pavel.”

Chekov blushes furiously but nods curtly and disappears into a small alley next to the building. They passed it earlier walking up to the house so Leonard knows it’s a dead end and likely safe. 

“Sometimes he’s still just like a kid,” Jim says with a quiet sigh and Leonard can hear the subtle sadness in his words. Everyone had to grow up quickly these past few years, no matter their age.

“Give me your hands, Bones,” Jim says after a beat and Leonard frowns. “I don’t care what Spock says anymore. It’s unsafe to keep you like this.” Leonard raises an eyebrow but holds up his hands nonetheless. Jim pulls a small butterfly knife out of his pocket and cuts his restraints easily. 

Leonard rolls his wrists gratefully. “Thank you.” He knows exactly that Spock will give Jim shit for it as soon as he notices he’s unbound. 

Chekov appears around the corner again, looking a lot more relaxed, but as soon as he notices Leonard’s free hands his expression changes to one of surprise and mild alarm. “But Spock said—”

He doesn’t get farther than that as there’s a sudden metallic click coming from inside the house. All three of their heads whip around to stare up to where the sound came from. There’s a startled yelp and then Uhura’s voice, “Shit!”

Chekov starts towards the door and Jim yells for him to stop but it’s already too late. The unmistakable sound of shotguns being cocked halls across the street and Leonard turns around to see four people closing in on them, aiming their weapons. They must have hid in the buildings on the opposite side of the street. There’s a commotion coming from inside the house and shortly after, Spock, Uhura and Scotty are being roughly shoved out the door by three men equally armed with shotguns. Leonard slowly raises his hands.

“An ambush,” Spock says superfluously and someone behind Leonard laughs. He turns again and sees that the laugh belongs to a burly looking woman.

“Nah, you just tripped our alarm.”

The person next to the woman giggles and Leonard notices with a start that it’s a girl, no older than twelve, aiming a rifle at him. It looks grotesque on her petite form.

He takes a closer look at the other two people, a woman of about forty and a gangly looking guy around their age. The three men who are now pushing Spock, Scotty and Uhura closer to them couldn’t be older than thirty.

“Fucking brilliant.”

  
  


“Couldn’t be better timing,” the gangly guy says as they are being led through the town roughly, “Maria and Tony were getting a bit antsy.” One of the men nods in agreement. “They haven’t had fresh meat in like two weeks.”

Next to Leonard Chekov stumbles briefly and looks up at him with wide, terrified eyes. Leonard would love to reassure him but right now he doesn’t see a way out of their predicament either. Apparently it’s just their luck to end up in the hands of yet another group of cannibals. At least right now it seems like that’s what’s happening. Their new captors aren’t exactly talkative.

“I can assure you that if you le—“

“Shut it!” The burly woman interrupts Spock’s do-over at getting them out of here. It seems to be of absolutely no use. Their only hope would have probably been that they’d recognize Leonard from the posters and would rather hand him over to The Shelter but the group of strangers barely even paid them any mind. They’d just rounded them up and were now leading them through the town, weapons ready, towards what seems to be a small, old church building.

A few feet in front of him, Leonard can practically see Jim’s frantic thoughts. The guy was smart and no doubt trying to find some way out for them all but it really seemed futile. The strangers had relieved all of them of their backpacks and searched their pockets. They’d also shot down any and all of their attempts to negotiate.

Strangely, Leonard feels calm, almost detached from the whole situation. In all this mess, he’s learned to love this feeling – the hopelessness. “You gave up,” Jim said yesterday, but he didn’t. In moments like this, he feels it the most – there’s no use in fighting. There’s no glory in it. They had no upper hand in any way. No weapons, no means of defense. And they are outnumbered. He doesn’t even feel sorry for himself. Any other day, if he was on his own, he would just run as fast as he could. 

Next to him, Chekov trips and stumbles again. Leonard looks at him sadly. The kid didn’t deserve to die. Not like this. And Jim… Leonard’s eyes flicker to him again, he takes in the way the late midday sun reflects off his blond hair, how his shoulders have sagged in the telltale way of someone who came to the conclusion that there was no way out. Leonard doesn’t want Jim to die. Jim, who had to live in his dead father’s shadow; Jim, who was so incredibly smart; Jim, who wanted to become a pilot; Jim, who made Leonard’s insides flutter and his face heat up.

Leonard is abruptly ripped from his thoughts as they come to a stop in front of the church doors, which he can now see are heavily locked with metal chains. He looks along the church walls, the lower windows are boarded up but the upper ones allow some light to shine into the building. These people definitely didn’t want anyone uninvolved getting into the church. And then Leonard notices that one of the men, tall and thin, wears the collar of a priest. It’s barely noticeable as it obviously hasn’t been washed in years and adopted that dirty white color that’s neither gray nor yellow but something in between. 

The burly woman steps forward, fiddling with a key to unlock the door. There’s a loud rattle as the chains fall to the ground and suddenly there are sounds coming from inside the church.

“How many people did you capture?” Uhura asks bitterly. “Are you just gonna throw us in there with them? What’s your plan?”

The sounds coming from inside the church are getting louder as she speaks and now Leonard can hear the rattle of more chains. The girl with the rifle giggles again. One of the men pushes the door open and that’s when Leonard hears the moaning. His blood runs cold and he can hear Jim gasp.

None of them have time to act before they’re roughly shoved into the church and the door falls shut behind them, chains rattling. After the moment it takes for Leonard’s eyes to adjust he notices that the hall they’re in is smaller than he expected, though its ceiling is high. Wooden beams are running up the walls and along the boarded up windows, there’s a small, elevated section, almost like a stage, on the other end of the room and a kind of rank running along the three other walls above their heads. 

The thing – or rather, _things_ – that draws all of their eyes though, are the thin figures of about a dozen Dead chained to the far wall. 

“Oh my God,” Scotty breathes as they take in the sight of the Dead straining their chains, bony arms stretched out towards them, groaning and moaning. Leonard has seen enough Dead up close that he can tell they, albeit thin, are in pretty good shape.

There’s a creaking sound coming from above their heads and then the girl, now armed with a pistol, appears through one of the high up windows.

“What the hell is going on here?” Scotty yells up at her but she doesn’t answer, instead she starts balancing along the beam running from the window to the end of the hall. Leonard follows her path with his eyes and as she reaches the stage he notices with horror that the chains keeping the Dead in check are coming together right where the wooden beam ends. The girl pulls a necklace from underneath her shirt collar and Leonard can see a key gleaming in the sunlight dangling from the chain like an amulet. 

“Mom, Dad, look, we brought you a meal,” the girl giggles again and pushes the key into the lock keeping the chains on the wall, “And don’t let uncle Marco and cousin Qwen steal everything from you again.”

With that the girl turns the key in the lock, waves towards the horde of Dead and disappears as quickly as she’d entered through the window again.

For a second, time seems to stand still, then the first chain comes loose and Jim yells “Hide! Climb up the rank!” just as the Dead start towards them.

Chekov and Uhura bolt to one side of the hall towards a small flight of wooden stairs, Spock following close behind. Scotty runs into the other direction, climbing up one of the beams with more ease than Leonard would have thought. Jim’s hand tightens like a vice around Leonard’s upper arm as he tries to pull him along but Leonard yanks it free with grim determination. 

“No, Jim, get the fuck away! Run!”

Jim stares at him with wide eyes before realization dawns on him. “No, Bones, you ca—“

_“Run!”_ Leonard bellows at him before he rushes forward, right towards the horde of advancing Dead.

At first, they only scratch at him, some getting his wrists, some his side as his hoodie rides up as Leonard is trying to occupy as many of the Dead as he can. The first bite gets him in the ankle. He yelps in pain but ignores it and instead reaches for another Dead, yanking her back by the neck. That earns him a bite in the forearm. Somewhere behind him, Leonard can hear Uhura screaming for someone to help him but Jim’s voice shouts back at her to leave him be.

Leonard turns around, trying to dislodge one of the Dead, a middle-aged woman, from his shoulder when he sees Spock, struggling to get up to a side of the rank as another Dead is hanging off his leg. Uhura and Jim are trying to pull him up as Scotty and Chekov throw everything they can get their hands on at the wild mob to deter them. 

Leonard curses and struggles to get closer to Spock to distract the Dead from him. A well-aimed _something_ sails past him and hits the old man holding on to Spock, effectively making him pause just long enough for Jim and Uhura to pull Spock up. In the brief second Leonard has to get a look at the thing he notices that it’s a book. There’s a metallic shimmer of engraving on the cover – a bible.

“Good throw,” Scotty’s voice echoes through the hall and Leonard almost laughs but then he can feel a set of teeth digging into his neck. Above him Chekov yells, “I have an idea!” and Leonard hopes against hope that it’s a good one.

Leonard’s vision begins to swim as another Dead lands a nasty bite in his calf, the horde won’t turn him but a great loss of blood could still kill him. At least, he notices, the number of Dead attacking him seems to be dwindling. The first few who bit him must have already succumbed to Leonard’s blood.

“Bones!” Jim’s voice cuts through to him, “Bones, get up here!”

Leonard wants to protest but then he spots the burning bible lying a few feet behind him, a second one comes flying from the ranks, hitting one of the Dead left of Leonard, setting her flowing dress on fire. 

There’s abstract thought on the back of his mind – he’s seen insane things. He’s seen madmen shooting shadows, grievers taking their own lives, cannibals, militaries losing their shit, but this is a whole new level. The thing is that the dead woman that the girl called _Mom_ is in really good shape for his research, and the _Uncle,_ despite his ripped off ear, would probably do, too. He wants to scream, _no please don’t kill them!_ but he’s in so much pain and out of breath – what a terrible nightmare. Oh fuck this. Surviving at any cost, huh?

A new rush of adrenaline floods through Leonard and he brutally shoves away two Dead clinging on to him. One of them stumbles and drags the one behind down right where Scotty’s last burning bible landed, lighting both their clothes on fire.

Leonard fights his way out of the the Dead and towards the ledge where Jim and Chekov are waiting to pull him up. He reaches for their hands, stomping his foot down to get rid of the last Dead that is still holding on to him and then he’s dragged up onto the rank. The three of them end up in a heap on the wooden floor but waste no time to get up. The smoke inside the church is getting thicker and Leonard can tell that some of the pews have caught on fire as well.

“How do we get out of here?” Leonard yells and Chekov points towards one of the windows leading to the small roof atop the entrance of the church. They’d managed to pry away the board and shatter the glass.

“Okay, go!” Jim yells and motions for Uhura to climb through the window. She nods and hurriedly pulls herself up the side of the window to squeeze through, waiting outside to help Chekov through who is quickly followed by Scotty and Spock.

“Come on,” Jim shouts through the Dead’s screams, pushing Leonard towards the window.

“You first,” Leonard says stubbornly, unwilling to leave Jim behind in the burning church alone.

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Jim protests.

“Damnit Jim, go!”

Jim looks like he wants to argue more but that’s when the church door below them bangs open, frantic shouts of the strangers who captured them filling the air.

“Get them out of here!”

“Mommy, no!”

“Maria!”

“Go!” Leonard urges Jim again and this time he does, climbing through the window to join the others on the roof, holding out a hand to help Leonard through as well. 

“There’s a car!” Scotty shouts excitedly, pointing towards one side of the building and he’s right. They climb down the side of the church and hurry the long way around the wall towards the car to not draw the attention of their captures. Not that it would have made much of a difference, Leonard thinks wryly, the strangers are still trying to somehow save their Dead relatives, paying them no attention.

The car is unlocked, one of the doors is even still open, and the key is in the ignition. Their captors must have used the car to get to the burning church as fast as possible.

Leonard turns around, looking at the church once more before he climbs into the car as well. Flames are licking out of two of the previously boarded up windows by now, there’s no way the people will manage to extinguish the fire before it destroys the whole building.

“Come on,” Jim says quietly and pulls Leonard further onto the crowded backseat. Scotty shifts the car into gear and drives them out of the town.

It takes Leonard a few minutes to realize he’s shaking. He’s pressed up against Jim on his left and the car door on his right and now that the adrenaline is slowly fading from his system he starts to feel the full extent of his injuries. He pulls the left sleeve of his hoodie up and winces as it drags over the scratches and bite there.

“Holy shit,” Jim exhales as he sees the bloody mess on Leonard’s arm. Up until now he’s been discussing where to head with Scotty and Spock. “Is there more? How bad is it?” He turns to Scotty again, “We need to stop somewhere and patch Bones up!”

They’d been driving away from the town for about fifteen minutes when the bush starts to thicken and soon it turns into an overgrown forest. Scotty steers the car down a barely recognizable path and deeper into the woods before he stops it on a small clearing.

“Guess that’ll do for now.”

Jim nods curtly before he ushers Leonard out of the car and walks around the back to check the trunk for the mandatory first aid box, praying the car still has one. As the lid opens Jim lets out a low whistle. 

“Guys, looks like we finally got lucky.”

Leonard steps around the car to check what Jim found in the trunk and he, too, has to admit they got pretty lucky with this one. There are three canisters of water and an entire pallet of canned food plus a bunch of random bags that looked to hold other necessities. 

“Looks like we got the getaway car,” Leonard chuckles and then flinches as the movement makes his side sting.

“You,” Jim points at him, “Hoodie off, we need to patch you up.” Leonard thinks about arguing for a second but he doesn’t have the energy, so he simply starts to pull the sweater over his head, wincing as it pulls on the skin where the blood already dried.

“I’ll go gather some firewood,” Uhura says suddenly, “Spock, are you joining me?” Her tone makes it clear that she’s not actually _asking_ him to join her. Leonard sends her a small smile.

“Scotty?” Chekov asks, “I think I saw blueberry bushes a little further back…”

“Oh yes,” Scotty pipes up immediately, “Let’s go check those out.”

All four of them disappear off the clearing and Jim chuckles, looking around. “Wow, that obvious, huh?” 

Leonard coughs awkwardly and drops his bloody hoodie on the backseat of the car. He looks at himself in the side mirror, the sun is close to setting and the light is fading but he can still tell that he looks pretty bad.

“Look, Jim, I’m—“ But Jim interrupts him, first aid kit in hand and motions for him to sit down sideways on the passenger seat.

“There were a few wet wipes in the trunk as well, I’ll clean those bites and scratches up a bit.”

Leonard just nods and Jim gets to work cleaning up his bloody neck, arms and sides.

“Jesus Christ,” he whispers as he brushes over a particularly nasty bite on Leonard’s neck.

“Yeah, it ain’t pretty.”

Jim just hums and carries on. When he’s done he opens the med pack and takes out a few rolls of gauze, some compresses and medical tape. “I’m no doctor but I’ll try,” Jim smiles crookedly and starts to carefully tape up Leonard’s shoulder.

“You’ll do.”

Jim punches him softly in his uninjured arm. “Shut up.”

They’re quiet for a moment before Jim clears his throat and speaks up again. “I was really scared back there. Not because of the Dead but because… I thought you’d surely die... It looked like they were taking you apart.”

“Well, they sure did take a few chunks out of me,” Leonard laughs wryly.

“Shush, I’m trying to be serious here. What I’m saying is— you saved us, Bones. All of us. And it could have easily killed you. You didn’t have to do it but you did, even though we’re essentially planning to hand you over to The Shelter.” Jim pulls a face. “It’s not right and I’m gonna talk to Spock, if he refuses to let you go I’ll make sure you’ll be able to make an easy escape somehow.” Jim wraps a bandage around Leonard’s lower arm and tapes it into place, avoiding his gaze.

Leonard doesn’t know what to say so he just keeps watching Jim. 

“I guess that’s the best I can do for now,” Jim mumbles, looking up from where he’s sitting on his haunches in front of Leonard. He puts what’s left of the bandages back into the med kit and closes it.

“Thanks,” Leonard says and then, after a short pause, “You know, you don’t have to be sorry.”

Jim frowns at him and opens his mouth to ask what about but Leonard interrupts him. “Back then, you said you’re sorry. About kissing me on that roof. You don’t have to be.”

“Oh,” recognition dawns on Jim’s face before he glances away sheepishly. “That’s— I— yeah, okay,” he says quietly, a small smile on his lips. For a second he looks almost shy.

“Jim,” Leonard’s voice is low and suddenly there’s a warm hand on Jim’s left shoulder, close to the juncture of his neck. He looks up.

The kiss isn’t exactly unexpected, not after what Leonard just said, but it still makes Jim’s heart jump into his throat. He sighs softly and some of the tension he wasn’t previously aware he was holding in his shoulders ebbs away. He lifts a hand, carefully threading his fingers into the dark hair just behind Leonard’s left ear, caressing his temple with his thumb. Leonard’s fingers splay over Jim’s neck, almost possessively. Jim shivers, it’s not unpleasant.

Leonard’s left hand closes around Jim’s upper arm and he gets pulled up from the ground just as Leonard bites softly into Jim’s lower lip, dragging it with his teeth. Jim is about ready to climb onto Leonard’s lap when suddenly there’s the sound of a branch snapping behind them.

They break apart with a start and Jim whirls around, breathing hard. There’s rustling in the bushes and then Chekov steps back onto the clearing, Scotty following close behind. Jim breathes out slowly, for a second he expected they’d get attacked. It’s funny how the world around you can just disappear for a moment.

A quick glance back at Leonard tells Jim that he, too, forgot, if just for a minute. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains the burning of some bibles


End file.
